Hum chhorh chale hain mehfil ko

It was another weekend and I felt if I must shut this blog down. Ok! Let us do it today. So strange it is to do it na, kya likhen yaar "thank you all" or "good bye"?? haa haa... Fuh! ok let me do it.... ! !!

She was sitting on the chair with newspaper in one hand and probably having her bread or tea in another, mummy was in kitchen, papa... were not here, he had just moved to China, Ruchi was somewhere in the Hall. It was 11:00 A.M. and I had still not bathed... she read in Hindu, definition of "BLOG" and few links. I remember, in those days I used to follow "NetSpeak" column, but this one was missed out, may be because it was a sunday it was in another paper. Within the same week i created my first blog and threw all that i had in head. One day i came here and liked blogspot for the better features. People found me and I found "friends", as the days passed on I met different people, all so loving so caring. I brought in all my everyday routine here, including family and all those puzzles I was into and felt relief that though for a little time things were out of my head. I dont know when but I developed a human-relationship with members here, and soon loosened them whenever I felt comfortable. Some I lost and some I think are still linked, I dont know. Still just wanted to say you all thanks much. Its time that I am leaving now. I can go on and write posts for few more years or more, and I know even almighty will not lift me up if I say "there is one last post pending... ". But I have no more posts pending now, i am done with them all today. :-)

Let me go back and recall my first post at this blog, just a coincidence that I then had the same title...

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Another turning point... fir se packing... fir se hum banjaare ek aur ghar chorhne wale hain. Within 5-6 months we shall be vacating Vellore. It was in April 1994 that we stepped in here. This house then would seem so lonely.... aisa lagtaa tha jaise har cheez khaane ko daudti ho.
I still remember those initial days... how I would wonder when I first ever saw a coconut ON THE TREE of our house. I had always seen a coconut with its outer cover off, but here it was something orange and looked pulpy on the tree. Didi and myself hunted a very long stick and we started to try dropping one. As soon as we finish our lunch we would go out, stand over the compound and shake the targeted coconut with stick. The girl at our top floor would then keep frightening us that house-owner may arrive any time. But we continue to ignore her. Alas! After two day’s continuous trials we made it fall. To our dismay though it looked pulpy but actually it wasn’t…. rather it was hard. However we tasted its water.
Now after ten years here.... everything is changed. I wonder how man adapts himself to the surroundings. Duniya banaanewale tune ajeeb duniya banaayi. This house doesnt talk but then... i dont know why at some corner in my heart i feel a sorrow of I would be missing it. Though i have 5-6 months time ahead, i just feel a kind of freezing when i think of the moment when I would leave this house forever. We dont owe it though. Dheere dheere saara saaman bhi bechnaa padega. TV, Fridge, Washing Machine, dressing table and all blah blah should be out. Including this PC??? Ya... Papa mailed and strictly said it should all be sold out as soon as possible. Will I be able to leave it? Pataa nahi... Though these things can not talk but I do have a feeling for them.... Oh! So foolish of me... Jab in bejaan cheejon ka hi itnaa dard hai toh doston ka kya hoga...

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Hmm... ghoom fir ke oosi title pe aagaye re, aur pahle se ab tak hadd se jyaada samajhdaar aur hadd se jyaada serious ho gayaa hai re tu! !! Not good.

aur laptop kab kharidega?

paise ikatthe kar liye hai maine par...

par kya? kharcha hai saamne, kisiko do-chaar hazaar diye hain lena hai, dusri company join karne ka plan hai, par logon ki soch rahaa hai, nahi? ha ha... tu nahi sudharegaa...

See you all, take care and yesh, kEeP sMiLiNg aLwAyS! !! Bole to aise.... :-)

Woh jahaaz ka panchhi...

Jhandi ki choti par,
woh jahaaz ka panchhi...

Subah hote hi,
bina sahaare,
apne pankh pasaare,
chhod kar kashti,
udd jaata hai nirdisha ki or...

Na daane ki talaash,
na paani ki pyaas,
paani?
siwaa khaare paani ke,
ab hai hi kya chaaron or,
Ghoslaa to door,
dharti ka tukda bhi mile,
to apne aap ko khushkismat samjhe...

Anjaan jagah par atak gayaa hai,
Bhool kar apni oos bhool ko,
ke woh bhoole se bhatak gayaa hai,
Din bhar me aisee kitnee hi,
naakam koshishen kar,
Fir laut aata hai,
jhandi ki choti par,
Woh jahaaz ka panchhi...

It would be too obvious (title not changed :P )

Yes, i would not be surprised if "The Namesake" bags one or two oscars. I dont know what an oscar is all about, may be i am taking it too likely but when i watched the movie on a late night show in satyam, unlike other movies i did feel the waves, as here, the scenes were not planted, colours were natural and the flow was medium.

There is basically no story, no lead role, no fights no arguments no violence no happiness and no sorrows. It is as plain as simple picturisaion, a reflection, a simple reflection from the silent camera that would have been moving around and getting into a family and recording its daily incidents. If you really want to watch there is lot and lot to watch in it, feel Tabu's reaction as soon as she gets to know that her husban is dead, she has no clue what to do she just roams around in search of nothing, when in theatre he asked me "what is she doing?" i said "she is missing her husband...", watch tabu so casually sitting on a thanga in calcutta.... and the remix of mukesh "yeh mera deewanapann hai..." running in background to spice up the post-wedding scene.

Guess kaanch, just now i have been writing, now i got a call from my homeland, i dont know whose number is it? woh rishte bataate hain... hum tumhaare iske-uske bhai ke yeh-woh hain...

"appu to humse baat hi nahi karta humne socha hum baat karen"

how do i make them realize its around 15+years since i am out of the place, and it is hard to recall whose home i visited in those "yearly-once" travels. All that i have in my head is a picture of the old house, my grandma, uncle aunt their kids and few more relatives. Inn 17-18 saalon me kahan se kahaan pahunch chuka hoon main, i dont know for what reason i was brought out, papa ki tarah mujhe sabke saath rishte nibhana nahi aata, i used to but now i dont believe in managing people, main nahi maanta ki rishte isliye nibhaaye jaane chaahiye ki unhe nibhana pade, hum jaat-paat ki baat karte hain, hum auron se kahte hain, hindu-muslim sab ek hain, par kya hum khud iss seema ke baahar aaye hain, today if i marry a girl of other caste all these relationships will segregate, i would be out of what they call "community" but nobody thinks if I am already out from 17 years. Arey main to kahta hoon yeh "community" hi hai jo fasaad ki jadd hai, relationships and religions are made so that man can live with comfort, man doesn't go wild, one doesn't interrupt other's living, but when religion itself becomes questionbale or hinderance to one's freedom then the religion has no meaning, no value. And I am not saying all these things because i have people around from other community, instead of my relatives but yes, i do feel for this dangling between two worlds. I do accept here kaanch, that there are one-sided relationships from my homeland, mere chacha mama and all those people, may be for them i may still be live in thoughts but over times for me they have become memories. I can't think of going back home be with them and i dont also feel the freedom to vision ahead and move on...